The Birds and the Bees Saiyuki Style
by DerekandReidSlashFan
Summary: Being trapped in a cave for 500 years threw his chance at having the sex talk so who better to ask then the smartest person Goku knows?...good luck Sanzo, but is that the real reason he is asking? We'll see.


**Author:** NickandGregNumberOneSlashFan

**A/N:** I do not own Saiyuki nor any of the characters.

**Description:** Being trapped in a cave for 500 years threw his chance at having the sex talk so who better to ask then the smartest person Goku knows?...good luck Sanzo, but is that the real reason he is asking? We'll see.

**Azure: Hey everyone Azure here ^_^ so I was talking with my sister Emberon and you'll never guess what she told me.**

**Emberon: will you quit trying to pin your perverted fantasies on me? I already have people giving me weird looks in public for the perverted things you say that you '_blame'_ on me.**

**Azure: Awwww I don't _always_ blame you...much.**

**Emberon: (Smacks Azure in the back of the head with her wooden staff) shut the hell 'up', do I _need_ to get the witnesses?**

**Azure: WHAAAAA DAAAAAAAD Emberon hit me (Azure ran to Sanzo hiding behind him)**

**Sanzo: did it hurt?**

**Azure: :Sniff: yes **

**Sanzo: then she did it right.**

**Goku: Sanzo quit picking on our children Azure didn't do anything wrong.**

**Sanzo: What the hell are you talking about you stupid monkey? She takes after you ya know she's _always_ doing something wrong.**

**Emberon: Wellmama and father are fighting again sooooo we'll just start the story now and let them battle it out. Azure take it from here.**

**Azure: (eating popcorn she turns to Emberon and then the audience) ok so without further ado I will now present this story. Go mom go woohoo.**

**Title:** The Birds and the Bee's...Saiyuki Style

it was a bright and sunny day in the random village that Sanzo and his party had stopped at to get some rest so they can continue their journey to the west. Hakkai was strolling down the road along with Goku carrying the bags with the food and supplies they had purchased to take along with them on the journey. As they strolled down the street Hakkai stopped at a stall that was selling herbs and medicine that he could use Goku stared out in the opened for a bit he then turned to Hakkai who just finished paying for the herbs.

"Hey Hakkai" Goku said getting them man's attention Hakkai looked down at Goku.

"Yes Goku?" Hakkai asked with a smile.

"There is something I need your help with" Goku said Hakkai just stared at him then nodded.

"Sure what can I help you with?" Hakkai asked

~time skip~

Sanzo, Gojyo, Hakkai and Goku all sat down at the table and began eating, Hakkai stared at Sanzo with a 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' grin on his face and it was making Sanzo very uncomfortable. He tried his best to ignore him, but it was getting quite difficult. Finally Sanzo couldn't take it anymore and slammed his drink down on the table and glared daggers at Hakkai who was still smiling.

"What are you smiling at?" Sanzo asked irritably.

"It's not my place to say" Hakkai smiled big and chuckled he looked over at Goku who was unnaturally quite for someone who was always rowdy. Sanzo looked over at his lover as well and realized that he was staring down at his food and decided to say something.

"Oi, Monkey what's up with you?" Sanzo asked taking a sip of his drink.

"Sanzo...;" Goku looked down took a deep breath and looked back up "Wheredobabiescomesfrom?" Goku asked really fast.

"What the hell did you just ask?" Sanzo asked.

"I asked where do babies come from?" Goku asked again taking his time and finding himself unable to stare Sanzo in the eyes. Gojyo and Sanzo stare at him for a moment then Gojyo spoke up with a smirk.

"Wow I knew you were naive, but I didn't know you were that slow" Gojyo stated Goku glared at him.

"Shut up you stupid Kappa! I am NOT slow...I'm just curious is all" Goku said with his face flushing in embarrassment. Sanzo remained silent for a bit took a drag from cigarette then looked at Goku staring him in the eyes.

"Do you really want to know?" Sanzo asked his eyebrows raising slowly. Goku gulps and nods looking up at Sanzo his golden eyes full of curiosity. "Hn. Fine then just remember you asked!"

"Wait, wait wait! You are seriously not gonna explain this to him in the restaurant full of people are you?" Gojyo asked arrogantly. Sanzo pointed the gun at him glaring in his direction.

"You trying to tell me what to do water Kappa? Cause if so then I'll put a bullet between your eyes if you'd like...or...would you rather explain it to him?" Sanzo asked with a sneer Gojyo instantly went back to eating "That's what I thought" Sanzo looked back at Goku who was staring at him in the most curious way that he actually found it quite adorable so with a sigh he began to explain "Well men have penis's and women have vagina's" Sanzo began as Gojyo was talking to Hakkai and trying not to listen to this conversation "And when a man sticks his dick into a woman's vagina..." Goku's nose starts to wrinkle up in disgust "They start to have sex and when he climax he shoots his sperm into the woman and if her body says ok sure she gets a baby; and that's where babies comes from" Sanzo finished explaining he grabbed his drink like nothing happened, but clearly everyone else looked at him like he was mad while Gojyo went back to eating thinking Goku had ceased questioning.

Goku blinked not once, but twice looked down at his food got a big grin on his face looked back up at Sanzo "Sanzo...guess what...BABIES ARE GONNA COME FROM ME!" Goku yelled out happily Sanzo spat out the drink in his mouth while Gojyo starting choking on the bite he had just taken. Hakkai just smiled and patted Gojyo's back clearing his air passage, looked over at Sanzo who had a shocked, pale look on his face, and grinned.

"I do believe congratulations are in order"

**Azure: well I do believe that concludes the story.**

**Goku: hey now that's not how he found out I was pregnant- Emberon cuts him off, by slapping a hand over his mouth, while Azure is looking as if to say 'shut up'.**

**Emberon: mother that's a story for another time, this was just by the fans demand.**

**Sanzo: why do I even bother (he walks away as Goku chases him).**

**Both sister: well now that they are both gone make sure to review, blame us and we'll sick father on you.**


End file.
